Dog Shampoo For People?

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When their cat died, my grandmother, who had limited mobility, asked my grandfather to get her a lap dog. He came home with a Rottweiler. It sounds like a punchline but the dog was so large, that even as a puppy he hung over my grandmother’s lap. She loved him and named him Plato because he was so smart. She was generous in her anointment. He ate the contents of our litter box. My grandfather would show off his one “trick” where he would pretend to hit my grandmother with her cane and Plato would half jokingly lunge after my grandfather and bite his arm. Then my grandmother would pretend to hit my grandfather with her cane and the dog would, once again, go after my grandfather, taking the free chance to gnaw at him. My grandfather was no jokester but he thought this was great comedy.

One time, my grandfather couldn’t find his dentures after waking up from a nap and Plato followed him around the house as he looked for them. At some point, my grandfather realized the dog wasn’t panting. He lifted his lips and there were his dentures lined up perfectly under Plato’s teeth. Then there was the series of times Plato decided to rescue my sister and I as we swam in our two foot deep wading pool. He would bite down on our hair and yank us out, violently shaking our heads. There were complications reminiscent of Goodfellas as he did something to the mailman that I can’t recall, impeding our mail delivery. He was ours and we loved him. My grandfather especially loved that he wasn’t another cat.

Never having owned a dog has limited my exposure to them. Quarantine and social distancing evoked a brief discussion on getting a dog, which turned into three dogs, which then slipped my mind completely. I did recently fall upon the dog shampoo page on Amazon when looking for a more natural shampoo and conditioner that is fragrance free. After looking at many reviews by owners who said the Burt’s Bees For Dogs Care Plus Natural Hydrating Conditioner With Coconut Oil and the matching shampoo for puppies and dogs made their pet’s coats shiny, I decided to try it out on our hair. My kids really don’t like it when I do this. I forgot to mention that a year ago, I purchased their waterless shampoo for cats to use on my teens’ oily hair in between washings. I don’t know what the point of calling it waterless is, as it’s a liquid in a spray bottle and having owned cats I can attest to their not wanting to be sprayed with anything. I’m not saying people should go buy and use pet products, as I don’t know what the standards are but having graduated from school as an esthetician plus over 20 years of researching safe cosmetic ingredients, coupled with being familiar with Burt’s Bees since the time they were an independent brand only available in health food stores, I felt that using this line was okay. My girls didn’t and refused to use anything meant for cats. They actually did end up using it when I decanted the contents into an empty detangler spray bottle. They were fine.

I often look for fragrance free products for a few reasons. One, sometimes scents can be a little nauseating, especially in the morning. I’m pretty good in the AM but I like to come into the world slowly. No alarm clocks, no bright lights, no loud noises, no caffeine and no strong scents. I have a strong sense of smell. If something smells unpleasant, I want to leave but if someone smells good, I find my mood elevating and want to be around them, like the Cinnabon stand at the mall. The second reason is that synthetic scents can be toxic. This post can go on for a while on this subject alone so I’ll keep it brief by saying that the term “natural” can be very vague and the issues associated with synthetic fragrance are so much more than the phthalates we often see products advertising they are free of. The third reason is that truly natural is not always better or safe. Our skin absorbs what we put on it. Nicotine and estrogen patches are absorbed into the bloodstream. I read labels to see what’s being rubbed into our skin from shampoo to nail polish and hand cream. Maybe you know that soy contains estrogen but did you know that other naturally occurring herbs and oils such as lavender, rose geranium, tea tree and licorice do as well? It all adds up and we’re looking for balance.

So, our dog shampoo shows up and I’m the only one happy about this. I had just tried two brands of bar shampoo and one bar conditioner. Two thumbs down. Sorry, environment. I left the bottles of dog shampoo and conditioner in the shower and knew my girls would cave when they saw there was nothing else to use. A cluttered bathroom is just indecent. The verdict? I like how gentle the shampoo is, especially on dry scalp. The consistency reminds me of Cetaphil face wash, which I used during my college years. My daughter with oily hair needs a stronger formula, so much that it wasn’t worth posting before and after pictures. The conditioner, in my opinion, seems to have a scent and doesn’t condition our hair as well as my favorite, The Honest Company Everyday Gentle Sweet Orange Vanilla Conditioner. I contacted Burt’s Bees to see if the conditioner I received was legitimately theirs and in full disclosure, mentioned I was writing a blog post about these two products. After a handful of correspondence, we haven’t verified the authenticity of the products but they did make an intelligent legal decision recommending that their dog shampoo and conditioner not be used on human hair. Now, I’m not telling you to do anything. I’m not telling you to wash your hair with dog shampoo. In fact, I’m telling you not to do it. But I will say that I haven’t noticed any issues in my girls or myself, aside from barking at the occasional squirrel that runs by our window.