Supporting Those In Isolation
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Many years ago, we befriended an older gentleman who lives near us. He saw me as a single mom who might be in need of his assistance and formally offered his services many times. He volunteered to pick up groceries while going out and slipped an advertisement for an energy efficient heater under the door. He was retired but on the go, traveling around the world, particularly on cruises and was active at the local gym and pool.
When he injured himself, his kindness came full circle, as we were given a chance to help someone who would have never asked us for anything. His pride took a hit but as he has had no children, he appreciated it when someone would pick up groceries or a prescription, even plunge his clogged sink. I saw him almost daily as I went downstairs to pick up his mail. After some time, it was clear that he had recovered well enough to get it himself but he enjoyed the company. I’m not one to be accused of being an extrovert but I was drawn into stories about his life in Egypt and coming to the United States in the late 60’s. The day he arrived in the states, he couldn’t decipher the cab driver’s English enough to tell the difference between New York and Newark (NJ) and ended up losing most of the money he brought with him on car fare. When he sold a house he had in Egypt after he retired, he was told he couldn’t take more than $10,000 out of the country. He gave the $40,000 left over to a local orphanage. When I asked if there was any loophole he could have used to bring the money out, he waved the idea away with his hand. He’s not rich but that’s the kind of person he is.
Then, Things Changed For The Weirder
Then, that mask wearing related thing started floating around and we had to start keeping our distance. It’s a big choice for someone to make; deciding between having company and spreading or contracting an illness. He is still going via senior transport service to his physical therapy and may be a bit foggy at this point to take all of the correct safety measures. Yet we still manage to keep our connection. Every week, I share some of my organic produce from my Misfits Market boxes (more about that here ) to supplement his delivered meals that don’t come with such items and give him a quick call to check in. He remembers everyone’s birthdays and holidays and has not missed one yet. He credits his love for people from all backgrounds to the time he was a newborn and his mother had to be admitted to the hospital with a fever. There were postpartum women throughout the building of different faiths and nationalities that took shifts nursing him.
Could We Still Be There For Him?
As his birthday approached, my girls and I wanted to do something nice for him. He doesn’t have many wants, so a food gift sounded like a good idea. He would have taken home cooked food from us but I felt better about something made in a factory controlled environment. A shelf stable platter of nuts and candy is something he could slowly eat and not have to be concerned about spoilage. He doesn’t eat much and I liked the idea of getting a few extra calories in him, even if they weren’t so wholesome. He’s pretty healthy and just needs to get some food into his system. I also gave him this lovely water pitcher that’s a practical gift he can keep by his pills. I’m normally not big on plastic containers but I wanted something that was lighter than glass and would be easier to clean up if dropped. A couple of hand drawn cards from the girls and it was ready to be left on his doorknob after a nice phone call.
He was touched by the gift and felt special on his birthday. I know that, to him, it would have been enough to be remembered and receive a phone call. I believe there are times when we do the best we can to make people feel good when we cannot be with them. Simple phone calls can be the most effective thing. Running errands, taking their pet for walks, tending to their property, sending gift cards for online groceries or services can be useful to let someone know you are thinking about their well being. If they are a little high tech, they can chat via Skype, Zoom, FaceTime etc. for more personalized interaction. You could sit on the phone and watch the same show together, just so they could feel a presence on the other line. No, it’s not the same but it makes a difference.
